Your Child and Activism

Hello Community -

My friend and colleague, Tara Liddle, who is a pediatric physical therapist, interviewed me for her blog.

I am sending these pointers directly to you and have added more advice here using the DBT framework. 

Thank you for reading! 

1) Validate By Being Honest: Shielding kids from facts expresses that you don’t believe in their ability to cope with reality. This is inherently invalidating. Tell your child the truth about what is happening in the world in age appropriate ways. For example, turn on responsible news feeds (BBC World Radio is one I like for my pre-teen) in the background and dialogue with your partner, family members, older children in well regulated and mature ways. Model distress tolerance, emotion regulation, good communication (stating facts rather than using extreme language - stay out of extremes), and problem solving skills. 

2) Model Resilience: Describe your own emotions and then encourage! “This makes me feel so sad and angry at the injustice in the world”, followed up with encouragement, "coping with these realities is very very hard and I know we all have what it takes to cope and move into action.” 

3) Teach Ethical Living: A fair and equitable world requires making personal sacrifices to help others. Talk openly and often about how this lines up with your family values. Discuss what it means to be ethical. Decide as a family on ways to affect change like giving money, food, and spending time helping people in need. Model making sacrifices and compromises within your own family. This also increases distress tolerance and commitment to ethical living when you can show that you are making personal sacrifices in the spirit of generosity, as a parent. 

4) Come up with ways as a family to be consistent with activism and giving and make a commitment. Following through speaks volumes to kids about what you believe is important. 

5) If you go to a protest, put safety protocols in place prior to entering the protest and role-play emergencies (for getting separated, etc.). Attend rallies with friends (there is less chance of a child wandering off if they are with friends) or create your own peaceful protest with neighbors and friends.

6) Know your child. For example, If crowds are scary, keep them home. If they are prone to being a moth to a flame and finding trouble, encourage other ways to affect change. 

7) Educate: Engage in consistent family education and discussions about social injustice. Develop an educational resource list from books, documentaries, inspiring fiction and even tv shows and movies to expose your family to different ideas, cultures, images and realities in the world. Schedule these events and follow through. Engage in moderated discussions and encourage learning by modeling listening! Let kids explore without your judgments or need to teach them. “That’s interesting! Tell me more! I love that! I will think about that! What you're saying makes sense! I love that you are thinking about this in depth!” You want to foster their excitement and passion to learn, rather than teach them what is “right." 

Let me know if you have any questions, and please feel free to discuss, troubleshoot or provide me with feedback. 

Warm regards, 

Belinda Bellet